Every good quest starts out with good intention. Moby Dick wanted to get his revenge, Jack Sparrow just wanted his ship back and Gilligan was just looking to relax on a three hour tour but, we all know how those ended. The Clark Family vacation started out seemingly well when nine people boarded the Patty Luv houseboat on Lake Roosevelt. But little did we know this "vacation" was about to become an adventure.
With a 30 minute speech and signing our lives over to the river god's, we chugged out of the marina with our 65 foot long "house" with a retired major at the helm and two flighty high school girls making hand signals in order to tell the fishermen to make way. We were on our way to fun in the sun! And then... reality hit us over the head.
First: I know nothing about boats: NOTHING. When my mother starts to shout orders about go to the port side and all the kids run in different areas of the boat, whose fault is it that we have absolutely no nautical education? But, when we see that the ski boat that we are towing, that we just borrwed from my uncle, starts to get overtaken by the waves, i naturally think that we have a problem. Orders were barked out: Drive the boat! Unexpectedly my boyfriend and i jump into the boat determined to save the day when the thought crosses my mind, oh yeah i know nothing about boats.
Second: I don't handle stress well. God bless Samuel as he is trying to drive the boat through waves while people are yelling at him. At one point i was sitting in the front of the boat (bow) but when the first wave crashed on my face i quickly stammered to the back (stern) of the boat whimpering and trying to hold it together. At this point in time i am "trying" to bail water out of the boat while watching my father try to yell commands into the wind which, is now lost in the wind. Sam finally succumbs to the pressure and drives next to the house boat to listen to my father when i realize: i left the rope. I left the rope after i untied it from the house boat and after several waves it had fallen into the water where it was wrapped around the propeller. At this point i am refusing to move from my ankle deep moist seat for fear of capsizing when sam takes another hit for the team and dives to the front to get the rope that has now been sheared off by the propeller. Because of the temporary loss of a captain our boat has now taken on ALOT of water. Sam somehow gets back into the captain's seat where he is now belly-button deep in the water.I am sobbing in the back seat, pathetically bailing water. Now, let me make it clear that both Sam and myself are excellent swimmers and if things got worse we could have swam to shore but, I am envisioning my uncle, whose boat is now half full of water, killing me. I am imagining me dropping out of college in order to work so that i can pay my uncle back for this God forsaken boat. We soon make it to shore as i throw myself on land kissing the sand, thanking God, and swearing to never get in that boat again. Needless to say, that night was lemon drop night.
