How not to be a stupid tourist.

While touring the most historic place in the country, I have been in a perpetual state of goose bumps. While packing my days full of tours and once again mastering the art of public transportation, I have loved every second of my adventure in D.C but, I have also run into a few idiots. So, for your pleasure i have put together a few memos on how to not be a dumb tourist.
1.) Do you have children? great. leave them at home. If they are under 16 more likely they will not a.) appreciate the treasures in front of them and b.) probably be screwing around in the lobby disturbing others tour.
2.) Do not let your hometown attitude show through your actions. Example: While touring the Library of Congress a man says to his children, in a thick southern accent, " How to Kill a Mockingbird? that must be a book about huntin." Are you kidding me? Another high five for public education.
3.) GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF THE GLASS!  The reason the glass is there is to prevent people from touching the ancient treasures but, now everybody else has to try to to see through your Mcdonalds lunch stains that you have placed on the glass because you had to be as close as possible.
4.) When riding the metro, try not to resemble a herd of sheep. I like to think that we are the farthest things from animalistic thinking but, every day i ride the metro my faith in human kind dwindles. Example: when the metro comes into the station and you see that there are people waiting to get off, why stand the closest you can to the door? Where are those people suppose to go? Move out of their way so that they can get off, so than you can get on. It is not brain surgery.
5.) You are not the only tourist in the area, try to remember that when you are pushing! This is by far my favorite rule since I run into this on the daily. The District of Columbia is mostly a tourist site and there are always people running from building to building trying to see everything that the city has to offer. Do not get me wrong, that is me too, I sign up for everything and if it is free, you had better believe I will be there. But, I am not the only one out there. Example: when looking at an exhibit, take your picture, read the plaque and move on, there are people behind you. DO NOT stand there, and pose for thirty minutes with your whole extended family and than dominate the exhibit because after all "you are just visiting." Also, while some of us have been waiting an hour to see the Reading Room in the Library of Congress in a line that stretches all the way to the exit, DO NOT think you are Princess Diana and just walk up the stairs and bypass the line. We were all waiting too and we all want to see the same thing so, get you and your fanny pack to the back of the line.

New Year’s Resolution: More human contact

Instead of trying to lose weight or get healthy, (overrated) my New Year’s resolution is to have more human contact. A Facebook chat does not suffice for a twenty minute phone call once a month or a text message replacing a funny “thinking of you” card that you get in the mail. Yes, the mail. I want to be the one who actually calls you on the phone when it is your birthday and not just tweet you.

With everyone going in a thousand different directions, I know how hard it can be to have a date night over Skype. We do the best we can with the time that we have but, what if we tried just a little bit harder.

I have a new friend who wrote her grandmother a letter every other week when she started college to keep her informed and to just let her know that she cared. When her grandmother started to get sick, my friend’s letters were what kept her grandmother going. When the grandmother passed, my friend told me that her grandmother’s care giver would read her letters out loud and that her grandmother would smile all the way through the letter.

With technology getting faster and better, it is my biggest goal to continue to step back in time and touch the lives of the people I love the most with human contact.

And yes, that means more hugs.

Finally a fit

It only took two years at a community college, a year at Arizona State Univeristy, massive student loans and a five-hour car trip to finally find my educational fit: Washington State University. My love for big cities like Seattle and Phoenix have now been replaced with the beautiful, rolling wheat fields of Pullman.

Stories that my parents have told me about their college experiences have been rushing through my head all week. At first I thought they were crazy and I was excited to show them that their eldest daughter was more equipped to handle the 'real world' than they were at the time. My father always told the story about how he wrote his first check at BIOLA in California and asked the cashier how to spell thousand. Memories of this flashed through my head as I approached the cashiering office as I too wrote my first check to WSU for tuition. But, I thought I was in better condition that they kid in front of me who asked the cashier, "How do you spell Washington?"

My mom proved to be better at advice than my father because she retells the story of how she had a limited budget to spend on food for the rest of the week so instead of buying good solid food, she opted for the milk and Oreos. I laughed at the time but, my first groccery trip went more or less like "WTF?! milk costs how much?!" "Tax is so much!" and "Who pays for bottled water?" More or less I pretty much found the nutrition pyramid and went right by that but, the off brand Oreos, (Tuxedos?) did find their way into my cart.

I had a bad experience

Every good quest starts out with good intention. Moby Dick wanted to get his revenge, Jack Sparrow just wanted his ship back and Gilligan was just looking to relax on a three hour tour but, we all know how those ended. The Clark Family vacation started out seemingly well when nine people boarded the Patty Luv houseboat on Lake Roosevelt. But little did we know this "vacation" was about to become an adventure.

With a 30 minute speech and signing our lives over to the river god's, we chugged out of the marina with our 65 foot long "house" with a retired major at the helm and two flighty high school girls making hand signals in order to tell the fishermen to make way. We were on our way to fun in the sun! And then... reality hit us over the head.

First: I know nothing about boats: NOTHING. When my mother starts to shout orders about go to the port side and all the kids run in different areas of the boat, whose fault is it that we have absolutely no nautical education? But, when we see that the ski boat that we are towing, that we just borrwed from my uncle, starts to get overtaken by the waves, i naturally think that we have a problem. Orders were barked out: Drive the boat! Unexpectedly my boyfriend and i jump into the boat determined to save the day when the thought crosses my mind, oh yeah i know nothing about boats.

Second: I don't handle stress well. God bless Samuel as he is trying to drive the boat through waves while people are yelling at him. At one point i was sitting in the front of the boat (bow) but when the first wave crashed on my face i quickly stammered to the back (stern) of the boat whimpering and trying to hold it together. At this point in time i am "trying" to bail water out of the boat while watching my father try to yell commands into the wind which, is now lost in the wind. Sam finally succumbs to the pressure and drives next to the house boat to listen to my father when i realize: i left the rope. I left the rope after i untied it from the house boat and after several waves it had fallen into the water where it was wrapped around the propeller. At this point i am refusing to move from my ankle deep moist seat for fear of capsizing when sam takes another hit for the team and dives to the front to get the rope that has now been sheared off by the propeller. Because of the temporary loss of a captain our boat has now taken on ALOT of water. Sam somehow gets back into the captain's seat where he is now belly-button deep in the water.I am sobbing in the back seat, pathetically bailing water. Now, let me make it clear that both Sam and myself are excellent swimmers and if things got worse we could have swam to shore but, I am envisioning my uncle, whose boat is now half full of water, killing me. I am imagining me dropping out of college in order to work so that i can pay my uncle back for this God forsaken boat. We soon make it to shore as i throw myself on land kissing the sand, thanking God, and swearing to never get in that boat again. Needless to say, that night was lemon drop night.

acceptable pets

Everyone in the Puyallup area must be drinking the kool aid or it may just be that time of year and everyone is either prego, getting married or graduating. So, needless to say since i am none of the above since i am feeling left out of this spring has sprung attitude. A recent cousin of mine has adopted a puppy and moved out from the nest and moved into her new apartment. Since i live in a dorm nine months out of the year, i have no need to pack, again, and move out so i thought a pet sounded like just the kind of commitment that i needed.

Now, im not much of a normal pet kind of girl so dogs are usually only acceptable.

Who would not fall in love with this wrinkly old man dog?! Taken my love for weird shaped items, this pooch would be an awesome addition to my collection but, these cuties do run to about $3,000. A little pricey for a college student.

So this leads me to my next choice: the tea cup piggy.

Apparently they are just as smart as dogs so you can train them

and potty train and even walk the whole nine yards with them and again,

an awesome addition to my weird shaped collection. But, the boyfriend is firmly against pigs since he thinks " people will react badly"to pigs in doors or just in general. So fine.

P.S i would name them Hamlet and Moo

I like to be the center of attention at times... and you can not tell me that

with this Amazon, Endangered species Monkey i would not have some

pretty cool parties. But, as it is an exotic animal, i would need some kind of license and they are a little too high maintenance for me.

So, i found the perfect compromise! cheap, easy and a looker to boot!

See, i can handle commitment.

Happy cows come from....

Would you rather eat these cattle?

Or these?

Thanks to my English 333 class, we are watching the movie "Food Inc." and I may have made a life changing decision. I already have a cousin that has made this decision and at first I thought that it was just a phase but now, i see that she made a well informed decision. Did you know that 95 percent of feedlot cattle in the U. S still receive some form of growth-promoting hormone in their feed? Why would i want to be eating beef that has hormones, antibacterial chemicals and all other kinds of drugs in it? Some cattle are kept in areas where they stand (if they can) in poop and mud all day and because they are soaked in it, when they are killed there is a 85 percent chance that your meat has some reminents of poop on it. POOP ON MY MEAT?! I am not even going to mention what they do to these poor animals on top of all the poor food, drugs and lack of care that they receive. So, after watching two hours of screaming pigs, over-pumped chickens and deformed cows i have decided to make an effort to choose the meat i eat, and i choose: Range-free, poop free, drug free meat.

New York Times attempt

Thursday, March 31, 2011
My New York Times attempt
As i was looking for scholarships on the internet i came across the prompt to write about "modern love" and if they picked me i would win a thousand bucks and have my article published in the NYT, how exciting! so here is my best shot at modern love.


Long distance Love: convenient or intolerable
I. Just. Want. Your. Attention. Period. A modern day long distance relationship makes us lazy. By all means it is a pain and you have to exert so much energy but, it makes us lazy. Before the internet, texting or even phones, a man had to work to get a girl to fall in love with him. Long devoted love letters that were hand written in Shakespearian language, sealed with his seal of arms, was the highest and most efficient form of communication. But, now with technology, a text saying “hey girl” is suppose to suffice? Girls have remained the same throughout history in their love culture in that we just want someone to notice us. How shallow some would think but, let’s be honest, no matter how confident a 21st century woman may be, we still appreciate a little look every once in a while. We just want some attention. But, notice I said some. Needy- all over you boys need not apply but the right mixture of some romance and communication goes a long way.
Being a fierce, power forward, career minded 21 year old, who is also in a long distance relationship, I like to be checked up on from time to time every day. I like to know that he is thinking about me and just a ‘hey how are you’ phone call or a planned Skype date night might ease my ever wandering, jealous imagination. But, welcome to 2011 where the internet has an always watching eye. It can be a blessing or a nightmare depending on how you use it.
I recognize that there is just so much my boyfriend can do, with him working a full time job in Seattle and me going to school and working in Phoenix. With our limited budgets and hectic schedules, flying out to see each other is not always an option. In saying that, technology plays a big role in our relationship. I mean a relationship via Skype can only last so long, unless there is some creativity involved. God bless Skype because at the end of a long stressful day, to maintain some kind of normalcy it is nice to see his face. A phone call every other day and constantly texting definitely plays a large role in keeping my relationship alive but, to keep the spark… well, that is another computer screen tab.
The constant texting can be a great reassurance but, it can also be a constant pain in the thumbs. The small talk of your everyday life in 160 characters can be challenging and dull and don’t get me started on sexting. A professor once joked with me saying that once a new piece of technology was invented and evolved, humans use it right away for sexual advances. Can you imagine Alexander Graham Bell using the telephone for phone sex? Or Bill Gates in his dorm room inventing his new software purely to find naked girls? But yet, here we are needing these things like phone sex and sexting to the replace the spark? I don’t think so. Men are visual. Clearly. And sexting is the ultimate painting the picture for the boy who needs his hand held while having an orgasm. No need for date night or flowers or a romantic outing, I will just text you the end result in great detail, 160 characters at a time. How romantic right? NOT. Definitely not a romantic substitute.
Now, social networking, when used properly can be a smile generator but, when used improperly can be a deal breaker. Half of being a couple is that public scene appeal. PDA or public display of affection can place the much needed romance into a relationship. But, when you are in a long distance relationship, that is something we long to have back. Enter Facebook: confessing your love to me in front of my 462 closest Facebook friends is a sure way to close the long distance gap for a bit. But, a sure way to make any girl go nuts is by investigating her wall. “Why didn’t you call last night?” I said, “well I saw on Facebook that you were stressed out so, I did not want to bug you.” Really? You got that from that? Yes, because when you are stressed and upset, the last thing I want is my boyfriend to call and comfort me. Can you imagine Romeo saying to Juliet, “Hey sorry I didn’t stop by your balcony last night, I thought you might be stressed out by our feuding families.” Probably not cause in order to secure a relationship in those days you had to make the effort where as now, you just have to have clever texts.
I was once told “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Now, at the time I had other opinions of what I thought that meant but, the truth is I had never had something that the thought of losing that special someone would make my heart almost break. A lot of time adults are quick to judge ‘young love.’ They have no problem expressing what they think about your relationship. My favorite is “why are you going to college with a boyfriend? Check out the scene and all the other fish in the sea before you settle on one.” With the modern woman, situations have almost reversed in that, not only are we pushed to “use our resources” and pursue several men but, we are also encouraged to make something of ourselves. So now, instead of the average woman getting married right out of high school and having six or eight babies to stay at home with, we are 180 degrees pushed to attend college, have a career and to date many men and then at the ripe young age of 40 we need to settle down and stay at home with your eight to ten babies. Okay, maybe the number of babies was a bit exaggerating but, you get what I mean. If you ask me, I want to go back. I want to go back to knowing that I have found my one love and just taking our times. I have a grandmother who every time I see her she asks me if I am married yet. I simply reply no and in astonish ask why, what have you heard. She than explains that at my age she was already married with a baby on the way. How is that for settle hint? As if my long distance relationship was not hard enough, I know have my 86 year old grandmother calling me from time to time reminding me of my expiration date and that yes, indeed the time was ticking. Despite the fact that we now have all the technology resources in the world to speed up time and make up for those lost hours where no communication was transferred, whether it be face time on my iPhone, tweeting every place that I go and a computer screen that is always on, I. just.want. some. attention. period. I want to be pursued and loved and I definitely want to take my time choosing when I walk down the aisle and whom with. If you ask me, we should turn back our clocks because, relationships and how fall in love really has not changed except that now, it is more convenient to express your love via phone rather than fly a thousand miles just to say “I love you.” If anything, we should take note on how they use to create love because those were the good ol’ days and those were the loves that really stuck throughout time. And, if you ask me, I want my modern love to be the one that lasts, to be the one that shows all those sexting teens that romance and chivalry is not dead and that yes, you can still be a modern woman and fall in love the old fashion way.
All in all, relationships are hard and long distance relationships are torturous and testing. We can’t always predict what situations we are going to encounter but we can choose who we bring along into them. Moving to Phoenix was the hardest thing I have ever done and I would never be able to accomplish that without the guidance and support from my boyfriend. I would never wish a long distance relationship on the fragile soul because growing up with a strong mother who had to see my father deployed for months on end, I knew what I was in for when I decided to go out of state. A relationship might have seemed different back with letters and William Shakespeare’s words guiding our pens but, relationships are still the same. They are still hard, stressful and emotional despite the Skype dates and the thoughtful emails. But, the point is, we choose to continue these relationships despite the distance because we know they are worth it.