How not to be a stupid tourist.

While touring the most historic place in the country, I have been in a perpetual state of goose bumps. While packing my days full of tours and once again mastering the art of public transportation, I have loved every second of my adventure in D.C but, I have also run into a few idiots. So, for your pleasure i have put together a few memos on how to not be a dumb tourist.
1.) Do you have children? great. leave them at home. If they are under 16 more likely they will not a.) appreciate the treasures in front of them and b.) probably be screwing around in the lobby disturbing others tour.
2.) Do not let your hometown attitude show through your actions. Example: While touring the Library of Congress a man says to his children, in a thick southern accent, " How to Kill a Mockingbird? that must be a book about huntin." Are you kidding me? Another high five for public education.
3.) GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF THE GLASS!  The reason the glass is there is to prevent people from touching the ancient treasures but, now everybody else has to try to to see through your Mcdonalds lunch stains that you have placed on the glass because you had to be as close as possible.
4.) When riding the metro, try not to resemble a herd of sheep. I like to think that we are the farthest things from animalistic thinking but, every day i ride the metro my faith in human kind dwindles. Example: when the metro comes into the station and you see that there are people waiting to get off, why stand the closest you can to the door? Where are those people suppose to go? Move out of their way so that they can get off, so than you can get on. It is not brain surgery.
5.) You are not the only tourist in the area, try to remember that when you are pushing! This is by far my favorite rule since I run into this on the daily. The District of Columbia is mostly a tourist site and there are always people running from building to building trying to see everything that the city has to offer. Do not get me wrong, that is me too, I sign up for everything and if it is free, you had better believe I will be there. But, I am not the only one out there. Example: when looking at an exhibit, take your picture, read the plaque and move on, there are people behind you. DO NOT stand there, and pose for thirty minutes with your whole extended family and than dominate the exhibit because after all "you are just visiting." Also, while some of us have been waiting an hour to see the Reading Room in the Library of Congress in a line that stretches all the way to the exit, DO NOT think you are Princess Diana and just walk up the stairs and bypass the line. We were all waiting too and we all want to see the same thing so, get you and your fanny pack to the back of the line.